Saturday was a miserable day, so rather than wandering the moors in the murk, myself and one of the other Rangers decided to be environmentally friendly and do a litter pick - what a mistake.
We started in the truck layby on the A628 just down the valley from the Woodhead tunnel entrance, and ended up filling 15 bin bags, plus pallets, plus three lorry tyres. We then moved on to the car park by the Blacks but we only managed to fill five bin bags there. People would have to drive all of about 300m off the road before littering, so I suppose that explains it.
As a result of my endeavours I made some observations, learned some things I would rather not know, and have some questions I'm still puzzling over:
- Empty beer cans are irresistible to mice, but unfortunately once they get in, they can't get out.
- Empty beer cans at the right angle collect rainwater.
- Mice, empty beercans and rainwater make an interesting mix. Tip the can and the fur comes out first, followed by the tiny blue, bloated, decomposing bodies, all topped off by the most revolting stench I have ever experienced.
- Big Macs must taste better cold. I can find no other explanation for the crop of discarded cartons 25 miles from the nearest McDonalds.
- There is someone in the UK who is stupid enough to drive to a layby miles from anywhere and then throw their car keys into the undergrowth.
- A child somewhere in the UK has lost all their schoolwork for the last five years.
- Mandy from Leeds, does your Mum know what your 'modelling' career actually involves?
- There are at least half-a dozen women in the UK who have lost some underwear. The same doesn't appear to be true of any of the men.
- Disposable nappies left exposed to the elements bloat up to about the size of a football.
- Most people who litter prefer Orange Tango.
- Coke left exposed to sunlight goes a colour reminiscent of urine - at least I assume that the label on the bottle was correct.
- Some people are very tidy-minded, they gather up all their litter, put it into a bag, tie it up and then throw it neatly into the countryside.
- Don't pick up unidentified tied-up plastic bags - somebody may have used them as an impromptu toilet.